Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The pieces below were written on April 20, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity. To read more of Pastor John Cao’s poetry, one can purchase the collection written while he was imprisoned, Living Lyrics: Poems from Prison.
The Final Journey
The final journey runs through the deepest affection[1],
Entrusting life, hand in hand, walking as usual[2].
Hearts connected through the window, endlessly vast[3],
Delving into letters, profound and urgent in interest[4].
Returning home to count old debts,
Planning to check in at the Earth’s Pole Pavilion[5].
The mountain rocks engrave enduring words[6],
Joyfully shouldering the great responsibility with cautious steps.
Notes:
- Final journey: The last leg of the journey or the end of life.
- Entrusting life: A child entrusts their life to an adult, walking hand in hand with the adult.
- Endlessly: Continuous and uninterrupted.
- Letters: Encouraging messages from everyone. Profound: Extensive and profound. Urgent: Eagerly.
- Pavilion: An ancient rest stop along the road.
- Engrave: To carve, referring to God’s Ten Commandments carved on stone. Enduring: Profound and lasting.
Everyone accompanied me through these seven years of imprisonment, showing deep love. Everyone held my hand, supporting my life as I moved forward. Our hearts were connected across the window, endlessly. Reading everyone’s letters and messages, I am even more eager to make the gospel prosper. After returning home, I will count the debts I owe over these seven years, and together we will check in to bring the gospel to the earth’s end. God engraved the Ten Commandments on stone. So I will happily shoulder this great rock and walk into the distance with cautious steps.
No Longer Working Part-Time
Having answered the heavenly call[1],
How can one still hold a worldly job[2]?
Imprisonment brings awakening,
Hitting the brakes at the cliff’s edge[3].
Single-mindedly striving forward,
Slightly making up for a heap of mistakes[4].
Borrowing the roasting of fierce flames,
A righteous offering before the sages of old[5].
Notes:
- Heavenly call: God’s call and mission.
- Worldly job: Secular pursuits and occupations.
- At the cliff’s edge: Meaning to rein in the horse at the edge of a cliff.
- Making up: To compensate. A heap of mistakes: A large number of errors.
- Sages of old: Saints in history.
Since accepting God’s call, one should not have a foot in both camps. I only realized this after going to prison. One must hit the brakes in time to avoid falling off the cliff. I am now single-mindedly striving forward, which may make up for too many mistakes in the past. Tempered in fierce flames, I follow the righteous deeds of the apostles.
In prison, I didn’t have a hymnal, and the songs I knew were limited. One way I made up for this was by rewriting lyrics to the limited songs I knew. The following two songs are my new lyrics written to the tune of “Amazing Grace”.
Simplicity
I.
The world is complex, but my heart is simple,
With a single mind, I yearn only for the Lord’s name.
Staying far from temptation, not fearing challenges,
Leaving behind only a good name throughout my life.
II.
My heart’s desire, I pray to heaven,
That all my compatriots may receive blessings[1].
Returning to tradition, seeking for a thousand years,
In the end, we will surely encounter the wonderful way[2].
Notes:
- Refer to (Romans 10:1): Brothers and sisters, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved.
- Refer to (1 Corinthians 12:31): Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. Love Is Indispensable. And yet I will show you the most excellent way.
Putting into Practice
After reading the Holy Word, it needs to be put into practice[1],
Empty recitation is like a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal[2].
Don’t blame the flood for not warning beforehand,
The deaf ears and collapsing house, startled and unsettled[3].
Notes:
- Holy Word: refers to the Bible.
- Empty recitation: only reading but not doing, like beating gongs and cymbals, which is just making noise. Refer to 1 Corinthians 13:1: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
- Deaf ears: not listening to the warnings of the Lord Jesus. Collapsing house: refer to Matthew 7:27: the rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.
The Passerby
A sojourner walked the earth,
Not longing for comfort or extravagance,
Unafraid of condemnation from the crowd,
Singing only the song of eternity along the way.
Why endure the hardship of worn-out soles traversing the wilderness?
To gather in the millet and grain,
To remove weapons of war,
To build bridges and resolve human barriers.
A passerby arrived in this world. He did not yearn for a comfortable or luxurious life, nor did he worry about not fitting in or being rejected. He only wanted to sing the song of eternity along the way.
Climbing mountains and crossing rivers, his shoes were worn out. Why suffer hardships? To reap a bountiful harvest, to eliminate weapons of war, to become a bridge, and to remove barriers between people.
Turning
In affliction and bitterness, turn to the scripture,
On a hopeless journey, it’s even better to walk in the light of bright flowers[1].
Only moving towards the burning, not asking about the storehouse[2],
The glory spreads across the land, with servants glowing like fireflies[3].
Notes:
- Refer to the phrase: After endless mountains and rivers that leave doubt whether there’s really a path out; Suddenly one encounters the shade of a willow and bright flowers, leading to lovely village.
- Not asking about the storehouse means not storing grace and gifts in the warehouse for oneself as future insurance.
- God’s servants have turned into fireflies.
The Battle - Part 1
The battle will come sooner or later; without preparation, it’s hard to resist the invasion.
Sharpen the sword in peacetime, always be vigilant, ready to answer the call to war at any time; today’s efforts ensure tomorrow’s victory.
The battle will eventually come upon us. If you are not prepared, it will be difficult to defend against the invasion. We should sharpen our swords and remain vigilant at all times, ready to respond to the call to war at any moment. Laying the foundation for future victory starts today.
The Battle - Part 2
The tiger lies in the deep mountains, known to men, women, and children alike[1]. Having accepted the division of labor, seize the opportune time.
Joyfully moved into a cage[2], quietly contemplating the Way, far from the bustling noise, softly reciting poetry[3].
Silent prayers give birth to new visions, connections inspire all to invest.
The death of a seed will yield a hundredfold[4]; looking back, the greatest joy is being driven and running[5].
Notes:
- Men, women, and children: people of all ages and genders.
- Joyfully moved: literally “the joy of moving to a new residence.”
- Bustling noise: the liveliness of a crowded place. Poetry refers to the Psalms in the Bible.
- Seed: a metaphor for life or efforts.
- Being driven and running: being sent by God.
Everyone, young and old, knows there are tigers in the deep mountains. But since we have accepted God’s assignment, we must seize the opportunity to enter the mountains. I joyfully moved into this prison to quietly contemplate the truth, far from the noise of the world, softly reciting the Psalms. After praying silently, I received a new vision and inspired everyone to invest in this heavenly kingdom together. A seed that dies will yield a hundredfold; looking back, the happiest thing in life is accepting God’s commission and running with it.
Outlook
In the blink of an eye, the new year urges a new journey; the blessed land is the best place to nourish life.
Mounting the horse, the remaining years are spent only asking to advance, to reclaim what has passed and expand the journey.
In the blink of an eye, a new year has arrived, and the Holy Spirit urges us to embark on a new journey. Prison is the best blessed place to nourish the body. Mounting the war horse, I will spend my remaining years only pressing forward, striving to reclaim the time that has already passed and to break new ground.