Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The pieces below were written on May 17, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity. To read more of Pastor John Cao’s poetry, one can purchase the collection written while he was imprisoned, Living Lyrics: Poems from Prison.
Divine Hand
Holding the plow with weakness, I ought to feel ashamed,
A good task has fallen upon this old ox.
No need to rush about, just sit and watch,
With a wave of the divine hand, great accomplishments are achieved.
Holy Fire
Each piece of news about you tugs at my soul,
Are the young and old in your place safe and content?
The past events should be remembered often,
The mountain path must be continuously extended with the sound of axe.
The holy fire has been shining brightly for a thousand years[1],
The wise scriptures are diligently studied by the disciples[2].
Balancing the altar and the small stove[3],
Only when the whole family is joyful is there complete fulfillment.
Notes:
- Holy fire: The fire of the Gospel.
- Wise scriptures: The Bible.
- Altar: Serving God. Small stove: Personal family life. Taking care of both big and small matters.
Every piece of news about everyone tugs at my soul. Are the children and the elderly in your place safe and happy? I often remember the years we spent together pioneering, and we still need to continue clearing the way through the mountains without stopping. The flame of the Gospel has been burning for a thousand years, still brightly illuminating people’s souls. The saints are diligently learning God’s words. There needs to be a balance between serving God and taking care of one’s own family. Only when all the brothers and sisters in the church are joyful together is it the most complete and fulfilling thing.
Returning to School for Further Studies
How fortunate to return to school in my twilight years,
Studying under the Master, majoring in shepherding.
Delving deep into the manual, using the staff to drive away vipers,
Striving to mend the fence, using my body as a beam.
Learning patience all the way with love,
Sharpened to the point of advancing in all directions.
The most beautiful thing is to receive commands with both hands,
Good friends always lending an arm to help.
How fortunate I am to return to school in my old age. I follow the Master, majoring in shepherding. I delve deep into the Bible, this shepherding manual, using the staff to drive away venomous snakes and fierce beasts, and I strive to mend the broken parts of the fence, using my own body as a pillar of the sheepfold. Learning the lesson of patience is love all the way. After being sharpened, the blade becomes sharp and can enter every place. The most beautiful thing is to receive so many missions, and to have good friends who always lend me a helping hand and are my support.
Wonderful Place I
Temporarily residing in a wonderful place, seeking amidst the bitterest of sufferings.
Overlooking the beauty due to ignorance[1], after awakening, pursuing wisdom[2].
Composing poems, books, and articles, recording the autumn of growth[3].
Enjoying the solitary fragrance, unexpectedly found by readers.
Encouragement sparks excitement, transformation grows more vigorous[4],
Still hoping that shallow verses, can inspire oneself and help others improve.
Notes:
- Ignorance: Spiritual dullness. Overlooking the beauty of life due to ignorance.
- Awakening: Awakening from sin.
- My poems record the experience of my growth and change.
- Grows more vigorous: Becoming increasingly powerful.
I am temporarily residing in this wonderful place called prison, seeking amidst the harshest of environments. Due to my own spiritual dullness, I overlooked many beautiful things in life. Now that I have awakened, I begin to pursue true wisdom. I have written some poems and books to record my growth process. Originally, I wrote them just to enjoy the solitary fragrance, but unexpectedly, there are people searching for the poems I wrote. This has given me great encouragement and joy, and my transformation here has become more vigorous. I hope that these shallow verses I have written can inspire myself and help others grow.
Wonderful Place II
In this unique school, training soldiers for a thousand days of peace[1],
Future challenges are rehearsed on the sand table[2].
Upon walking out the door, one should dedicate oneself,
Don’t be a decadent scholar who only talks about the abstract[3].
Notes:
- Unique school: The prison is a special school. Thousand days: Training soldiers for a thousand days.
- Sand table: Envisioning and rehearsing battles.
- Decadent scholar: Someone who only talks but doesn’t act.
In this special school called prison, I am training soldiers for a thousand days, constantly rehearsing future spiritual battles in my mind. Once released and walking out the door, one should immediately dedicate oneself and not become a decadent scholar who only talks but doesn’t practice.
Looking Forward to Reuniting
Rising together at the fifth watch to greet the morning sun,
Reuniting from all corners of the land, our spirits mutually inspiring.
Agreeing to explore new territories together,
Seizing opportunities to plow and sow as spring arrives.
At five o’clock, we rise together to pray and welcome the rising sun. Disciples from across the country reunite, our spiritual lives impacting one another. We agree to venture into new territories together. As spring arrives, we seize the opportunity to plow the land and sow seeds.
Burning to Ashes
The angel gracefully descends before me, informing me of my friends’ compassion.
Standing still with a broken hoe, occupying the land in vain,
Steeling the will to face the vast fields, doubling the efforts to plow.
Alone in a secluded corner, surrounded by a multitude of companions,
Lonely and frail, encouraged by endless kind words.
Just adding withered branches to the sacrificial fire,
The sunset glow burns beautifully as the body turns to ashes.
The angel gracefully descends from the sky and comes to me, telling me that everyone still pities me. I can’t work, I can only stand here, doing nothing, occupying the land in vain, but I am steeling my will, and in the future, I will face the wilderness and double my efforts to plow the fields. I seem to be alone in this secluded corner, but there are many people sitting with me. I have many companions accompanying me, this lonely and frail body, and everyone keeps encouraging me to move forward with beautiful words. Therefore, I just throw myself, this withered branch, into the sacrificial fire. My old age will still burn with beautiful sparks until I turn to ashes.
Yellow Ribbon
Yellow ribbons flutter and flow around the world,
Long absent, I dare not rest upon my return.
Preparing food and water, the departure call resounds,
With heroic spirit, I set out again to establish a great enterprise for the Lord.
The yellow ribbons welcoming the prisoner are tied all around the world. I have been absent from the field for a long time, and now that I have returned, I dare not rest. I need to prepare food and drinking water, as the departure call has already been loudly sounded. I am filled with heroic spirit as I set out again to establish a great enterprise for the Lord.
The Proletarian
Dedicating myself to the light, abandoning privacy,
My footsteps throughout life are known to all.
No house, no car, and a meager bank account,
Residing in a hundred homes, I rush across the land.
I dedicate myself to the light, and there’s no privacy to speak of. Where I am every day of this life is known to everyone. I have no house, no car, and very little savings. I reside in a hundred homes and rush around the world to spread the gospel.
Couplet I
Listening attentively for orders, once the command is given, I dart off like an arrow;
Lying in the grass, thinking of the wise, when I rise again, I soar like an eagle in the wind.
Couplet II
Honoring ancestors and adhering to traditions, pursuing and killing ruthlessly like a tiger;
With scales removed from the eyes, thrice venturing overseas with resolve as strong as steel.