Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The pieces below were written on April 11, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity. To read more of Pastor John Cao’s poetry, one can purchase the collection written while he was imprisoned, Living Lyrics: Poems from Prison.
A unique scene from China
Recently, I read news about the released elders Wu Jiannan and Hao Ming being warmly welcomed by church brothers and sisters holding fresh flowers, as if they were heroes returning in triumph. Some brothers and sisters even traveled over a thousand kilometers to welcome these released heroes. The prison administrators predicted what would happen, so they quietly released them at location far away to avoid the awkwardness of crowds of people holding flowers waiting at the prison gate to welcome the heroes.
Generally, prisoners are people abandoned by society. While serving their sentences, few people inquire about them. After their release, society treats them like rats. When I was serving my sentence, two inmates who shared a cell with me were once prominent local figures. Before their arrest, they had endless invitations and banquets every day. However, after entering prison, neither of them received a single letter; their families didn’t write to them, let alone their friends.
Twenty years ago, when my good friend Brother Cai Zhuohua was sentenced to three years in Tianjin Prison, I accompanied his mother to visit him. Out of fear, I only dared to stand far away from the prison gate to pray for Brother Cai. It is said that I was considered quite brave at the time; most people didn’t even dare to approach the prison. Now, the situation has completely changed. When I was serving my sentence, brothers and sisters from all over the country came to the detention center and prison where I was held, stood outside the gate, and prayed for me. Even the police would tell me, “There is a person kneeling at the door, probably your friend praying for you.” The number of encouraging letters I received was countless, from all over the country and the world. The police found it too much to review one by one—prison regulations require police to review and read my letters first, filtering out and withholding those they deem inappropriate. So, the police in charge of me asked me to tell everyone not to write to me anymore. I was only allowed to write to my mother and sister. During the Cultural Revolution, Christians didn’t dare to visit the arrested pastors and elders. Now, it’s clear that Christians’ courage has been fully trained. When a servant of the Lord who has been imprisoned is released, groups of Christians go to the prison gate to welcome these returning heroes. At the same time, it’s as if they are scouting ahead, wanting to know the path they can take into the prison next time, preparing for their own imprisonment.
At the prison gate, crowds of people holding fresh flowers welcome the released prisoners. This has become a unique scene in China. In which other country can you find such a scene and sentiment? I am so proud of this scene and sentiment.
I composed a poem to celebrate the release of Elders Wu Jiannan and Hao Ming from prison:
Since ancient times, which prisoners were praised?
Discarded rats, flooded by spit upon return.
But now, fresh flowers welcome Wu and Hao,
continuing to spread the gospel to countless homes.
Contemplating the Lord's Grace - 1
Coarse meal or fine meal, contemplating the Lord’s grace,
Each meal, silently pondering today’s scripture.
Plain water, lightly touched, becomes fine wine,
Every grain of white rice exudes fragrance.
Contemplating the Lord's Grace - 2
Favored or disgraced, contemplating the Lord’s grace,
The greatest glory lies in the nail scars.
The most beautiful gift is entirely free,
Death’s venomous hook sinks deep into the sea.
Contemplating the Lord's Grace - 3
In stillness or motion, contemplating the Lord’s grace,
At the feet, quietly listening to the holy word’s advice.
Moving like lightning to the frontline,
Combining stillness and motion, brimming with fervor.
Contemplating the Lord's Grace - 4
Outside or inside the prison, contemplating the Lord’s grace,
Sacrificing oneself, charging straight into the enemy’s base.
Is this a lonely spiritual battle to face?
Many have gathered at five in the morning to pray.
You and Me
You are the hammer, I am the nail, gladly let you drive me deep into the cross.
You are an expert at digging pits, I excel at lying flat, the pit is my green pasture.
Your lies flow effortlessly from your mouth, yet I firmly believe in God’s permission, truth will emerge after the flood recedes.
You filled the Xinhua Bookstore with communism books, and conveniently imprisoned those who promote proverbs, but I am even more determined to spread God’s word.
You set traps to bind me tight, yet through the mesh, I connect with the church, turning the bonds into a spiritual retreat.
You invented pocket crimes, but God forgives all sins, and I bear witness to this truth.
You claim to serve the people, am I not one of them? Still, God is the best, loving all humanity.
Why do you insist on treating me as your enemy when I love you so deeply? Yet Jesus is still the best, teaching me to pray for my enemies.
You think you can silence me by slitting my throat, as you please, but the Holy Spirit is still the best, interceding for me with groans that words cannot express.
