Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The piece below was written on March 14, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity.
I have a sentence two years shorter than Brother Wang Yi. I am older than him by a few years. Both of us are pastors of house churches, and it seems that there is not much difference between us. However, after reading Pastor Wang Yi’s “My Declaration of Faithful Disobedience”, I must admit that I am far behind him.
While I also believe that Jesus’s students cannot surpass their teacher, meaning that His students should endure the same suffering as Jesus did, I never expected to personally undergo the trial by fire. If I had known the trial by fire was coming, I would have found ways to avoid it. I have human wisdom and intelligence.
I feel like I can use my body warmth to thaw out a frozen snake, and once it revives, it will never bite me. I feel like if I give it a flirtatious look, it will gently pat me on the shoulder.
I feel that perhaps there’s just a small misunderstanding between us, at most akin to being bitten by a mosquito. I absolutely cannot imagine being torn apart by a vicious wolf, losing a large piece of bloody muscle.
I feel that even if what it says isn’t true, it’s just a white lie told with good intentions, and not an open grave.
I have too much human wisdom.
Brother Wang Yi is different; he is a strategist, understanding the enemy well. According to the prophecies of the Bible, he knows that suffering is about to come. He will be bitten all over, and he will walk towards an open grave – prison. Instead of trying to avoid it, he actively engages in the battle. He knows very clearly that someone will make him “lose his wife and children, and be ruined.” Faced with all this, he does not choose to deal with it with human wisdom but simply looks to God for strength. I remember he once said to a large group of brothers and sisters that he felt the most romantic thing was to be taken away with his wife in front of his son.
Brother Wang Yi would explicitly cry out: “Break the teeth in their mouths, O God”.
Brother Wang Yi’s resounding cries, although not always met with agreement, have caused many—especially pastors—to immediately keep their distance, fearing to get involved and avoid the risk of trouble. It’s better to stay far away from the trial by fire.
I tried to avoid this fire but couldn’t escape it. Pastor Wang Yi didn’t attempt to avoid it; he faced it calmly. “Because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin.” Brother Wang Yi aims to be free from sin, so he’s not afraid of suffering. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in as much as you participate in the sufferings of Christ “. Brother Wang Yi seeks true joy, so he’s prepared for suffering.
In comparison, I really am far behind Brother Wang Yi.
