Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The pieces below were written on April 16, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity. To read more of Pastor John Cao’s poetry, one can purchase the collection written while he was imprisoned, Living Lyrics: Poems from Prison.
Ice and Fire Dual Reins
I experience both winter and summer simultaneously, at times bone-chilling, at times fiery hot. My heart burns with hope, yearning to melt the ice and spread warmth all around, passing it on to others.
Enduring both winter and summer realms each day [1],
Piercing cold and blazing heat intertwined, they sway.
Heart ignited, longing to thaw the icy freeze,
Spreading warmth, embracing all with ease.
Notes:
- Each day, I simultaneously experience two realms, one being the earthly realm, which is full of trials, and simultaneously, I experience the heavenly realm, which is the pouring of the Holy Spirit.
Don't Despise
Reunited after ages, we’re all surprised,
Graying temples and wrinkles, hard to disguise.
Don’t despise this old servant, lagging behind,
Slow steps can still reach the world’s end, in time.
When we reunited, it felt like a lifetime had passed, and we were all surprised by each other’s appearance. My temples are now graying, and the wrinkles on my face are difficult to conceal. Please don’t despise me, this old servant, for holding everyone back. I may walk a bit slower, but I can still make it to the ends of the earth.
Understanding Life
In the past, I was entangled in matters of life and death,
But now, I clearly understand the foundation of life’s breath.
The corrupt world lures noble souls with temptations,
While God grants strength to the fragile creations.
Drowning, I cried for help, and the water receded to my feet,
Lying in flames, I trembled, yet my hair flowed, unsinged by the heat.
Before my demise, I realized the emptiness of worldly affairs,
Thankfully, I constantly yearn for a new path, free from despairs.
I used to be troubled by questions of life and death, but now I have suddenly grasped the foundation of life. Zhuangzi said that the secular world always uses worldly temptations to lure noble people. God will give strength to the fragile. When I was about to drown in the flood, I cried for help, and the water receded to my instep. Lying in the flames, my heart was fearful, but my hair flowed without being singed. Even before my death, I knew that everything in this world is empty. Fortunately, I am constantly looking forward to a new path and a new life.
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Lying on the bed, deeply contemplating past mistakes,
Quietly listening to the uplifting hymns of praise.
Grateful for the present day,
Abundantly savoring life’s sweetness.
As I lie on my bed, I deeply reflect on the mistakes in my life. Quietly listening to the uplifting hymns, I feel grateful to be living in this era and fully enjoy the sweetness of life.
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One word ignites the lamp of the heart [1],
Warming the darkness of sinful life.
Filled with generosity throughout,
Living sacrifice, joyfully accepted.
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Celebrating the Double Ninth Festival. On this day, according to Chinese tradition, loved ones and friends climb high. On this day, I can only imagine joining everyone in climbing high, composing a poem in tribute.
Fortunate or misfortunate, entering the secluded realm [1],
Captive soldier, shattered, rescued, and bound [2].
Drenched in Water Festival’s blessed helm [3],
Double Ninth Festival, passionately climbing the peak [4].
Though humble in position, cautiously remembering the mission [5],
Heart vast and free, embarking on a distant expedition.
Countless flying letters, earnest admonition [6],
A bright lamp illuminating the dark, even at midnight’s prohibition.
Notes:
- Misfortune: Being imprisoned. Fortune: Everyone thinking of me while in prison. Secluded realm: Refers to prison.
- Captive soldier: Refers to myself, being captured. Shattered: Broken into pieces. Rescued: Emergency treatment. Bound: Bandages for wrapping wounds.
- Water Festival: Refers to the festival where water is splashed. Blessed: Blessings and good fortune.
- Passionately: Striving with determination.
- Cautiously: Being prudent and careful.
- Flying letters: Letters from everyone.
Coming to the prison, is it fortune or misfortune? Life has become a bit shattered, but I received treatment. During the Water Festival, people sprinkle blessing-filled water towards the crowd. On the Double Ninth Festival, people climb mountains with deep affection. Although my position is humble, I carefully remember my mission. My heart is vast, and I want to travel far. Many letters earnestly urge me to firmly believe in Lord Jesus. I want to be like a bright lamp, illuminating the darkness.
Ode to the High-Pressure Water Gun for Car Washing
Torrential flow thoroughly washes away old stains and grime,
Cleansing petty jealousy and little faith, molding a new body.
Dirty one moment, rinsed the next, guarding against future filth’s climb,
Shining bright, a witness for all to behold, throughout the journey’s time.
