Reflections from Pastor John Cao is a series of poetry and writings from the recently released Chinese Christian prisoner of conscience exclusively published by ChinaAid. The piece below was written on April 12, 2024 and has been minimally edited for clarity. To read more of Pastor John Cao’s poetry, one can purchase the collection written while he was imprisoned, Living Lyrics: Poems from Prison.
Since my release from prison, I haven’t had an ID card. Without an ID card, I can’t even get a physical examination. Brothers and sisters are all concerned about my health. Everyone who comes to visit me urges me to get a physical examination. Not long ago, my lawyer, Brother Li Guisheng, travelled from Guiyang to Changsha to help me with my ID card. We had a meal together. Before the meal, he took out a small blood glucose meter, pricked my finger, and took a tiny bit of blood. After the meal, he did it again. He happily told me that the two readings indicated that my blood sugar level was very normal. Brother Li, while being my lawyer, also takes on the responsibility of being my medical doctor. It is truly my honor to have him as my lawyer.
Breaking down the physical examination into smaller parts is also a good strategy. A traditional Chinese medicine practitioner prescribed me medication to nourish my body, and an ENT doctor bypassed registration and secretly treated my rhinitis, curing it. Today, Brother Li Guisheng measured my blood glucose.
However, this piecemeal approach can’t go too far. For example, an electrocardiogram requires a large machine, which is something individuals are powerless to handle.
Someone suggested that I use his ID card to get a physical examination. Everyone started discussing whether it would be illegal for me to use another brother’s ID card for the examination. Some said, “Pastor John Cao, you didn’t break the law, yet you were sentenced to seven years in prison. If using someone else’s ID card for a physical examination is illegal, who knows how many more years you’ll be sentenced.” Others said, “This should be a harmless act.” After consulting a lawyer, the lawyer said that seeking medical care and having a physical examination, from the government’s perspective, should be considered a revolutionary humanitarian act and not a criminal offense. Hearing the lawyer’s words, I plucked up the courage and used a brother’s ID card. Accompanied by my sister, I went to Meinian Hospital, an institution specializing in physical examinations.
First, my sister asked me to stand outside the hospital while she went to register for me because the age on the ID card differed from my age by twenty years. She was afraid that they would see through my trick at the first glance of my weathered face. After my sister registered for me, I went for the various examinations, thoroughly checking all my organs. My trick was nearly seen through twice. When waiting in line for a cervical spine X-ray, I was sitting and waiting. Suddenly, I heard the doctor call out, “xxx.” Hearing xxx’s name, I felt strange and thought, “How come Brother xxx is also coming to this hospital for a physical examination today?” It was only later that I realized the doctor was calling for me. Finally, when the examination was over, the doctor said, “Sign here.” I automatically wrote “Cao Sanqiang.” The doctor asked me, “Who is Cao Sanqiang?” Only then did I realize that today, I was xxx. I quickly re-signed.
While waiting in line, I prayed, asking God to give me a healthy body so that I could continue serving Him. Although I’m well past the retirement age, I believe that as a servant of God, there is no such thing as retirement. As long as I can walk, I must go to the ends of the earth. During my spiritual cultivation in prison, I read 2 Kings 20:6, “I will add fifteen years to your life. And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my sake and for the sake of my servant David.” At that time, I felt moved. This verse contained two of God’s promises. The first promise was that I still had fifteen years of service ahead of me. The second promise was that God would rescue China’s house churches. The city mentioned here refers to the house churches. I firmly grasped God’s personal promise to me and completely believed in God’s promise to the house churches. Furthermore, I boldly asked God to give me an additional seven years. I hoped to spend these last seven years back in prison.
Seeking long life and health is human instinct, but as Christians, we must ask ourselves: Why do we want to live healthily for a few more years? What will we do in those extra years? Collecting seashells by the beach? Watching extremely boring TV shows? When we meet the Lord Jesus, will we say to Him, “Lord, your creation is truly wonderful. Look, I had a happy golden age, and I collected many beautiful seashells.” Is this the long life we need?
I felt such a relief when the physical examination was completed. My body was in excellent condition, and they didn’t see through my trick.
